Unwanted visitors. Even twice. Artist Residency week 3.
April 17, tue
For the first time sunshine in the evening: this light is mesmerizing. I see things I never saw before. Suddenly colors appear in the back of the building, gorgeous! I really love this light.
April 18, wed
Wonderful weather today. Sun and warm. Too much sun, unfortunately. The unloading floor is very nice, but it is difficult to work where I stand, I have to install me differently tomorrow. A lot of messing around today because the sun was making a difference on my canvas. But I amused myself, so blissfully without cold!
April 19, thu
Finally spring! Or will I call it summer? It is sunny, 28 ° (!) , and there is a blissful warm breeze. I had my lunch outside outside on the slag heap :).
April 20, fri : unwanted visitors
I was terrified last night! Normally I have to stop working at 6 pm because from then on, I am alone on the site, the offices and the mining museum are closed. If I want to stay a little longer, I have to inform the people of be-MINE. Yesterday I did so for the very first time, I told them I would like to stay until 8 pm.
A quarter before 8, I just started packing my things, the alarm goes off. That means that there are burglars in the building. I heard stories about both copper thieves and urban explorers. From the first category I am afraid. I feel a lump in my throat from fear. What should I do? They may also think that I caused the alarm myself by entering an area where I’m not allowed to.
I send a text message: “The alarm goes off. It is not me who’s causing it, but I am still in the building.” A little while later the alarm stops, and I get a phone call: “I am looking at the camera images right now. I see people. They are just teens, 2 girls and a boy. I think the alarm scared them off, they’re probably running away.” Almost at the same time I hear outside a girl screaming “the alarm goes off!”
Thought to go for a swim, but only felt like a drink afterwards.
April 20, fri
I brushed my painting clean this morning. Yesterday I scattered unsieved coal on a layer of glue, by there is not much left of it. Mostly dust actually. It was not my intention that the surface would be full of grains, but I had expected more of it. No problem, so I learn again.
April 21, sa : unwanted visitors, again.
Highlight of the day (NOT): Unwanted visitors, again. This time it was a group of elderly people. One of them wanted to know if it’s Art that I am creating. I tend to ignore his question, but he really needs an answer. He asks a second time: “Is this art?” His wife, embarrassed, smiles an apology to me, and says to him: “of course it is. Mondriaan, that’s also with a lot of squares, and that’s also art.”
But the man isn’t satisfied as long as he doesn’t get an answer straight from me. “Is this art?”, he asks me for the third time. So I answer: “Yes sir, this is Art.” That’s the answer he waited for. His most disapproving gaze is my part.
“But that doesn’t mean that you have to like it.” I add, while I turn my back.
I know I shouldn’t care, but I feel like crying.
Round up Artist Residency week 3:
I’ve worked extensively. Painted many thin layers. Still not good. I’m getting frustrated. I’ve painted during many hours the last 3 weeks, and there’s still not one painting OK.
Conclusion: I do it the wrong way. It is too complicated.
I have to try to get everything in balance. I’m thinking way too much now. I want to “just” paint, amuse myself, have fun doing it. But I’m afraid.